Open Letter to the Falcons Ticket Office

19 Jun
From: The Angry Who Dat
To: Atlanta Falcons Football Club <Ticketservices@falcons.nfl.com>
Sent: Tue, June 19, 2012 12:56:05 PM
Subject: Re: 3 Premium Ways to Enjoy Falcons Football

 
Dear Atlanta Falcons Football Club,
 
I bought single game tickets through your ticket office one time because I wanted to see my New Orleans Saints crush your lousy, pathetic franchise in your own house with the semi-transparent roof.  They were available through the ticket office after the season started, which we in New Orleans find quite odd.  You then added me to at least two separate mailing lists, although I did not know it at the time.  The game was not the massacre I expected, although it was quite enjoyable when your stupid coach went for it on 4th down in his own territory in overtime.  That was massively stupid, but not as stupid as these emails I’ve gotten on a weekly basis since.
 
Your “unsubscribe” link does not work.  Trust me, I’ve tried.  I offered Jonathan Vilma $1000 to take out your servers via twitter, and he refused. Therefore, my only option is to reply directly.
 
Please consider this due notice that I do not desire to buy any season tickets or five-game packages to that disgusting stadium to watch your stupid team with their ugly little uniforms, nor do I want to look at that ridiculous F-bird logo of yours in my inbox, nor do I desire to “Rise Up” in any way, especially if that means scoring 2 points in a playoff game.
 
Also, Roddy White is a complete dipshit. Please tell him to stop.
 
Thanks!
 
Love,
The Angry Who Dat
 
P.S. That video with Samuel L. Jackson is embarassing to the Falcons, the city of Atlanta, football fans, and human people everywhere.  It would be best if you would stop that immediately.
 
 

One Response to “Open Letter to the Falcons Ticket Office”

  1. Philip H. Anselmo June 19, 2012 at 2:36 pm #

    I hate the fucking Falcons, seriously.
    Horrible franchise.
    Cheese-ball QB nicknamed “Matty Ice”…. ugh…
    And friggin’ Roddy White… 1st name says it all!!!!
    Fuck the Falcons.
    SAINTS WILL DESTROY
    PA

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