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The Third Level of Suck

24 Sep

“Job security, bitches!”

Well, fuck.  That’s it.  I have nothing left.  Spags’s defense might come together – hell, they played admirably through over half the game given the shit they had to contend with, but it inevitably all came unraveled.  I thought we had it in the bag – hell, everyone did.  When the Chiefs responded to a great drive and touchdown with a massive kick in the balls on just one play - for their lone touchdown of the game, mind you – I hope you all felt it coming.  Sure, the lead was still there.  We had the ball.  But you just knew it, right?  In your gut.  In your heart.  In your fucking genitalia.  Goddamn, we are going to lose this fucking game.

But I won’t bore you with a recap, or a bunch of miserable, heart-breaking stats (SaintsWin has that covered anyway), or a breakdown of the absolute worst offensive performance I can remember from a Saints team that held a roster spot for Drew Brees.  Nope.  This isn’t about one game.  It’s about the nightmare season to come.

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On This Date in Saints History – July 18, 1990

18 Jul

The jump will take you to Canal Street Chronicles for my post in the “On This Date in Saints History” series.  22 years ago today, Bobby Hebert failed to report to camp, beginning a historic year-long holdout.

Canal Street Chronicles >>

Common Sense

4 Jul

Happy fourth! Before we get started on this quick 4th of July special post, let me warn you: this is not an off-topic post, nor is it going to be political – it is Saints-related. But you’re going to have to stay with me for a few paragraphs. If you haven’t been reading this blog very long, I’m a History guy, and I like to infuse a little history into the Angry Who Dat whenever possible. Of course, today is a perfect opportunity for a bit of that.

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“Commissioner Goodell Has Made a Dreadful Mistake”

16 Jun

Those aren’t my words, they’re the words of Jonathan Vilma’s attorney, Peter Ginsberg.  Basically sums this whole thing up, though, doesn’t it?  Here’s a few other things he had to say, all according to Jim Varney at the Times Picayune:

Dude...like, why would the NFL lie, man?

“Unfortunately, what it says to me is Commissioner Goodell has made a dreadful mistake. After what Jonathan and the other players have been put through, to suggest the players are being presented with any kind of fair hearing based on what has been presented today is pure fantasy. [...] The thin production today doesn’t link any of the players to a bounty system, and that’s consistent with what we know to be true – there was no bounty system.”

On no witnesses being produced by the league: “That’s because there are no credible witnesses who could substantiate the commissioner’s allegations.”

On the $10,000 Favre bounty accusation against Vilma: “There could be nothing credible about that because it never happened.”

“Jonathan wants to participate in a fair forum. What unfolds Monday is what unfolds Monday.”

What unfolds Monday is what unfolds Monday.

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Debunking the 3-4 (Make it Stop)

4 Apr

They

I told you, didn’t I?  Loomis is king, man.  I thought he was done for now, but even I underestimated the guy.  How good do you have to be at your job when a blog anointing you as the one true Football God underestimates your ability?  I had already forgotten about Hawthorne.  We got our guy.  Weakened that franchise-not-to-be-named in that funny-smelling city to the North and East, while making a huge leap on defense ourselves.  And then, when nobody was looking, boom goes the dynamite.  Hawthorne’s a Saint.  The crowd goes wild.

Amazing.

But with that final (or not?) piece in place at the linebacker position, the old phenomenon rears its ugly head.  Every time a team signs an inordinate number of linebackers in one offseason, the fans start howling with joy.  “THREE FOUR!” they proclaim.  Yep, we have more linebackers than we need, so we must be going to a 3-4 base set.  Come on over and sit down.  We need to talk.

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It’s Appeal Week (now with bongos)

2 Apr

As punishment for bountygate, Sean Payton is forced to participate in a Jimmy Buffett concert.

It’s appeal week, Who Dats.  And every one of us has a different opinion on what’s going to happen behind the closed doors of the commissioner’s office.  Will Payton and Loomis and Vitt go in and let the commissioner have it?  Will they throw red paint on the commish’s new suit and be dragged out by their heels screaming “Hypocrite!” while Goodell’s secretary gasps in horror?  Or will they go groveling to the man on their knees, begging for their jobs, as one local media member suggests from atop a horse so high it defies the laws of physics?

I don’t know.  We’ll never know.  One must assume that someone within the organization has actually seen the document that we’re supposed to believe is 50,000 pages long.  (Let’s see.  I have a 500-page ream of paper on my desk right now.  Just eyeballing it, I’d say it’s about an inch or so thick.  Has anyone seen a Fed-Ex guy with an 8-foot stack of paper enter the Saints facility?) 

We haven’t seen that evidence, and judging from this scrupulous league office’s history, there are a dozen interns shoveling paperwork into a burn pit at a pace that would make State Farm executives blush so that we never will.  We’re told that there are emails, and some game notes, and, uh, well, 49,901 more pages of very damning stuff, or something.

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