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Jeff Duncan Is A Pretentious Goddamn Moron Troll, Episode 1,573 (featuring Fake Jeff Duncan)

23 Jan

Ugh.  These playoffs have been a hell of a show, amirite?  And here we are, watching from the couch instead of that nice armrestless seat in the Upper Terrace [tm].  Ah, well.  At least the Falcons aren’t coming to town, right?  Let’s celebrate!

I know, I don’t have it in me either.  Life still sucks until Next Year gets here, and hell, we all knew that was coming.  At least we can look forward to some embarrassing incidents involving drunken New Orlenians and Mr. Goodell, sir.  Hopefully none of them involve violence.  I mean that sincerely.  I mean, that’s just not the shit the city needs, right?  Fuck Rog, but let’s not fuck ourselves while we’re fucking him.  You know?

Hey, it looks like Jeff Duncan wrote a nice little pragmatic piece calling for sanity.  Let’s check it out.

Read on >>

Jeff Duncan Did The Most Jeff Duncan Thing Ever Today, Because He Is A Goddamn Moron

21 Dec

Jeff Duncan is, of course, a fucking idiot.  His latest venture – the weekly pile of garbage that is the “Weekly Reader” – is journalistic idiocy on a pure, primal level.  It contains no real content, it’s a pile of links to shit that Jeffy thinks is “good”.

Jeffy’s been a journalist much longer than I’ve been a blogger.  Somehow, without professional training and decades of practice, however, I know what “this week” means.

Months ago, I wrote my first blog peice.  It was a troll piece – I needed a place to put it where I could use colorful language and not get in trouble, and I had no plans for this thing to become what it has become (that being, some would argue, a really, really long troll piece).

Anyway, here’s the post.  In it I made fun of message board reactions to a Falcon blogger’s diatribe on the perils of persecuting the Saints and stoking the furor of their fans and their seedy online presences.  (Again, I’m not saying he was wrong.)

That Falcoholic blog post appeared on March 23, 2012.

In Jeff Duncan’s Weekly Reader, dated December 21, 2012, he included that post under the heading “THIS WEEK’S WEB GEMS.”

That’s stupid, but consider also: of his six WEB GEMS OF THIS WEEK, only two were posted in the last week.  I’m not the type to nitpick over a day or two – he has deadlines and all that kind of journalisticky stuff.

By combining all the classic Jeff Duncan themes in one section of one post today:

1. Insulting Saints fans and embracing everything they hate
2. Praising what amounts to internet trolling as a “thought-provoking tome”
3. Doing so without adding any real information or content of his own
4. Doing so after everyone already knows about it (Jesus, Jeff, MONTHS)

Jeff Duncan has done the most Jeff Duncan fucking thing in the history of the internet.

Congrats, Jeff. For posterity:


jeff duncan goddamn moron

What’s the Problem?

6 Dec

Roger Goodell is on the cover of TIME, and everybody’s all pissy about it.

I don’t see what the big deal is.  I, for one, think it’s long overdue. 

Read on >>

The Journalist Circle Jerk, In One Screencap

16 Nov

This about sums it up.

That’s right, what we have here is Jason LaCanfora congratulating Mike Freeman and Pete Prisco on “tremendous work” as retweeted by Mike Triplett.

The tremendous work in question? Well, it discusses how some players accept that football is dangerous and keep playing it.

Duncan Blows Darlington: the Rage of Fake Jeff

16 Nov

Most of you (excepting only those too old or boring to use twitter) know @FakeJeffDuncan.  He should need no introduction.  If you don’t know the guy, his twitter handle should explain everything.  Fake Jeff Duncan, to be clear, is not a fan of Real Jeff Duncan.  140 characters wasn’t enough to contain his disgust at Duncan’s latest masterpiece, so he has taken to the blogosphere.

Take it away, Fake Jeff.

New Orleans Saints shouldn’t get in a bidding war for Sean Payton

So we’ve learned from NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell that the New Orleans Saints and Sean Payton are negotiating a new long-term contract extension. So let me get this straight. A full 10 months after the league reportedly rejected Payton’s original deal the exiled head coach and club are finally trying to iron out a new deal.

At this point, Scooter, if Herr Goodell told me the sky was blue I would immediately assume the sky was, indeed, any color but blue. Naturally, you go ahead and simply copy and paste whatever comes out of his office.

Read on >>

Thomas DeCoud Thinks Falcons Fans are Weak, and Pat Yasinskas Is a Coward

13 Nov

Monday night Pat Yasinskas wrote a wrap-up piece on the Falcons-Saints games with some great quotes from Falcons players.  One of the best was quoted last night by Mark Laxman (who tweets as @insidej0b) on Who Dat Dish:

“That’s one team you don’t want to have your first loss to,’’ Atlanta safety Thomas DeCoud said.

A moment before, as reporters stood a few feet away, DeCoud was talking to a few other defensive backs.

“The bandwagon is over,’’ said DeCoud, who then mumbled something about how the crowd at the Georgia Dome next Sunday probably will be filled with fans of the Arizona Cardinals.

Wow. That’s a hilarious indictment of Falcons’ fans by one of their very own players.

I hit the link to check it out for myself.  But there was something missing in Yasinskas’s article.  Here’s the quote from the article as it now stands:

“That’s one team you don’t want to have your first loss to,” Atlanta safety Thomas DeCoud said.

A moment before, as reporters stood a few feet away, DeCoud was talking to a few other defensive backs.

“The bandwagon is over,” DeCoud said.

Wait a second.  Where’s the great Cardinals bit? 

“Inside Job” says he quoted the text in a simple copy-paste.  The Cardinals comment was there originally.  But there’s no explanation, no editor’s note, no official correction in the Yasinskas article.  It’s just…gone.

So, Pat, did you misattribute the quote?  Did you misunderstand what DeCoud said?  Or are you just too damn cowardly to allow an inflammatory quote from a Falcons’ player who looks down upon his own fans to stand?

The answer is pretty simple.  I’m adding this after the fact (see what I did there, Pat? And I’m not even a journalist), and it implies an explanation, even if the answer sucks as much as you probably imagined:

@TwentyAte28 Attention #FalconNation if you hear somewhere that I was bashing the fans please don’t buy into it…I don’t get down like that…never will

DeCoud tweeted that Sunday night, and the spineless Yasinskas took about 24 hours to take part of the quote down without a word as to why.

DeCoud either said it or he didn’t.  Yasinskas either misquoted or he didn’t.  The Falcon answered, while the “journalist” remains silent.

You suck, Pat.

On Power Rankings

12 Oct

It’s the bye week, and we just came away with a win, and there’s not a lot to be Angry about right now. So let’s talk about Power Rankings.

Please take this short quiz before reading:

1. Have you ever become angry about your team’s placement in an “official” power ranking?

2. Have you ever created a power ranking of your own?

3. Have you ever argued with another team’s fans concerning relative power-ranking-placement?

If the answer to any of these questions is “yes,” pull up a chair. Get comfortable. And listen to me for a second.

Power rankings are fucking stupid.

Read on >>

Breathtaking Inanity

13 Aug

Jonathan Vilma makes his case in court.

This is such bullshit.  What the hell happened?  I thought we were getting Saints games every four days this year.  Now I have to wait another damn week and a half for the next game, a game I won’t even be able to attend, against some FBS team from Florida.

At least the powers that be have seen to it that this ridiculous delay between meaningless football games is an eventful one, am I right?  Just today we got some great news from the State Police (who are now able to turn to more pressing matters, such as the Fletcher Mackel impersonator) and John Barr shat all over himself.  However, I’m getting ahead of myself.  Let’s take a step back.  Three days ago we were treated to a spectacular court hearing, covered live by our crack local beats on twitter.

Read on >>

A Taste of Normal

14 Jul

A Falcon fan reacts to news of Drew Brees’s signing.

Holy fuck. Thank you, [insert diety of your choice here].

Yesterday was a beautiful day, wasn’t it? I don’t have to tell you that. It was magical, exhiliarating, normal.

I know, normal is a troublesome word for a day in which a franchise that’s never really had a great quarterback signs a quarterback to the richest deal in the history of tackle football, but I think it makes sense.

Read on >>

Common Sense

4 Jul

Happy fourth! Before we get started on this quick 4th of July special post, let me warn you: this is not an off-topic post, nor is it going to be political – it is Saints-related. But you’re going to have to stay with me for a few paragraphs. If you haven’t been reading this blog very long, I’m a History guy, and I like to infuse a little history into the Angry Who Dat whenever possible. Of course, today is a perfect opportunity for a bit of that.

Read on >>