Of Course This Is Happening In Your Hometown

12 Nov

Well, that was fun. And we can’t really say we didn’t see that coming, can we? Hey, I’m not going to pretend I saw most yards in franchise history and most first downs in NFL history and most yards ever against the Cowboys and fucking 49 points and an utter failure of a Cowboys passing game coming, but we knew it would be a win and we knew it would be fun, because that’s what Payton’s Saints give us in primetime at home.

Recognizing the inevitability of a blowout win given the time and place certainly doesn’t devalue said win, and this isn’t intended to be a wet blanket – that’s coming later in the post – because a continuation of pre-2011 Payton tendencies is something to be appreciated and celebrated. And goddamn was that fun to watch.

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Punish Them Now

7 Nov

This post went up yesterday at SaintsWin (thanks, Reid!) because my site was down due to some malware or some shit like that. Sorry. I hope nobody tried to download whatever that was. You’re safe as long as you didn’t. For future reference: you should never have to download anything to read text on a website, so just don’t do that. #themoreyouknow

I didn’t get a chance to write last week, because of the road trip to New York, and I haven’t yet written this week, but suffice to say, Bills game good, Jets game bad. Offensive line, ugly. That’ll have to do for now, because I really need to get this off my chest.

Richie Incognito is an asshole.

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Step Back In The Window, Sir

22 Oct

Ok, I think I’m over it now.

I don’t know what finally did it – maybe it was the Patriots-Jets game Sunday, or the exercise in futility of forcing myself to watch every play of that abysmal game last night in hopes that I could manage a second fantasy win this season (I couldn’t) and that newfound appreciation for what we have that always comes after watching two terrible teams fight it out for what feels like seven hours. But I can look forward to the Bills game this morning without making myself miserable over what happened in New England.

But, true to the purpose of a personal blog in the first place, I’ll commit to a little self-indulgence and talk about the thing that happened over a week ago, if you care to read any of it.

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Faalkenfreude

10 Oct

The Saints defense braves daylight and plant life to pursue a rare outdoor win.

Get it? That’s how you spell “Falcon” in German maybe.

Last weekend just might have been the most enjoyable weekend of regular season football I’ve ever witnessed. I want to make sure I hit all the high points, so I’ll go with a numbered list. People love those.

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Back Up Back Up, Cause It’s On

2 Oct
More of this, please.

More of this, please.

The Saints defense has allowed less than 20 points in each of its first four games.

Yes, that point is already beaten to death; indeed, its postmortem beatings will increase in ferocity with each week that this surprising trend continues. I join in on the giddy drubbing of this astonishing defensive accomplishment for one reason: it provides a smooth segue to the bit of hyperbole I have planned for later.

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Mount Up!

27 Sep

You don’t wanna step to this

I’m not really a big nickname guy. You know, your favorite message board sports thread after thread during training camp in the preseason, attempting to force some cheesy nickname on a team or squad or player. They’re almost always terrible ideas. Lame, forced, based on some obscure pop culture reference or pun. “Hey! Let’s call the defensive line Gus Fring because it’s EXPLOSIVE!”

And 145 out of 147 people think this is helpful, because 145 out of 147 people like Breaking Bad and the Saints, and this thread has both of them! Genius!

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Dreams Do Come True

25 Sep

Look on my works, ye mighty, and despair!

Well, that was fun. Yeah, the offense still has some issues, the line looks like utter garbage, and Brees spent more than a few plays running for his life. Apparently, when you replace a really great guard with some dude you never heard of, Darnell Docket will take advantage. Who knew? Lessons learned, right?

However, if you spend too much of your time complaining about any facet of offensive performance, we here at The Angry Who Dat Dot Com will remind you of our standing policy, Look At The Scoreboard Stupid. 31 points. Thirty-one. No matter what the game feels like, 31 points will win virtually every game when they’re paired with a top-4 defense. But we’ll get to that in a moment.

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Undefeated, Unencouraged

20 Sep

“I once convinced a woman I was Kevin Costner. And it worked because I believed it.” – Saul Goodman

Football fans, like shady lawyers, can convince themselves of all sorts of ridiculous shit. Delusion is a requirement for fanhood; without it the entire exercise of allowing one of thirty-two teams to consume a third of your calendar year, of staking your mood every Monday on the success of said team, is utterly pointless. A calm, objective observer must realize that the chances of a positive outcome to the four months you’re giving up to your fanaticism is so small, and the emotional stakes that you willingly place on that outcome are so high, that no sane person should subject himself to this particular brand of mental torture.

I am not a calm, objective observer.

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Alone In First Place (Always Take the Points)

12 Sep

YOU CUT ANDY TANNER, ANDY TANNER CUT YOU

Okay, I’ve waited long enough. A few days to let that sink in, you understand. To watch the game on TV a couple times and that last 4th down play a few dozen. To revel in yet another wonderful, heartbreaking, last-second win over the Falcons that should feel commonplace by now but hasn’t lost its wonder even after 12 occurrences in 7.5 years.

I’m ready now. Ready to discuss that beautiful event that sparked a social media meltdown of unexpected proportion. On blogs and twitter accounts and facebook pages, our wonderful, jaded friends to the East showed their disgust – and like our schadenfreude, one would expect it to have become routine over the last three-quarters of a decade of utter dominance.

Yet the hurt remains strong.

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Preseason Is Stupid, or Why Football Is Better Than Bear Fighting

5 Sep

Sorry for the prolonged absence. Preseason. Preseason is quite stupid. But it’s over now, and we survived unscathed!

Well, except for all the injuries. And the return to vintage 2012 defensive football in week three against the Texans, or whatever melodramatic nonsense you’re in the mood to put out there right now. But we’ll get to that. First, let’s focus on the positive developments we’ve seen since my last post a month ago.

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