It’s Not A Trap

15 Dec

Trap games are stupid. The entire concept is bullshit. I refuse to believe it, and accordingly, as fans are allowed to do, I’m overlooking the hell out of this afternoon’s game.

This may change come kickoff. It will change; I’ll be nervous as ever. But for now, this morning, I’ve got more important things to think about. Like the Panthers.

Two games in three weeks against our new divisional challenger will do that to you. A game like last week, a downright boring affair the likes of which I’ve been begging for for weeks, nonsense about enjoying close wins aside, has a way of getting in your head, creating fantasies of dominating a new whipping boy for years to come.

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7 Dec

Fuck this guy.

Sorry I’m late. I really didn’t want to write anything this week. Not because I was crushed by Monday’s nightmare, but because there isn’t much to write about.

Honestly, I thought about just skipping a post altogether, for the second week in a row. For shame. But I can’t do that now. Because some of you have too much time on your hands. One of you has so much time on your hands that you figured out that the last two times I didn’t post in the week leading up to a game we lost and sent me an anonymous email this morning to that effect. Now, to be fair, I’m pretty sure this is one of my friends giving me shit, because no way does anyone take a fucking blog this seriously.

Regardless, whoever you are, fuck you, and I salute your diligence, and see you at the tailgate probably.

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New Ways To (Enjoy A) Win

20 Nov

Mandatory Harbaugh Fuck Gif

Wouldn’t have it any other way.

This was a tough one to watch, even as close games go. But given a win, it couldn’t have gone more swimmingly. Blowouts are fun. Blowing out the 49ers would have been massively entertaining. But there’s something special about the way this one went down. I have only one regret: that I cannot go back and tell 10-year-old me that one day, when he’s all grown up, a 49er will complain after a loss that a referee was biased toward New Orleans.

That would have meant so much to the kid.

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Of Course This Is Happening In Your Hometown

12 Nov

Well, that was fun. And we can’t really say we didn’t see that coming, can we? Hey, I’m not going to pretend I saw most yards in franchise history and most first downs in NFL history and most yards ever against the Cowboys and fucking 49 points and an utter failure of a Cowboys passing game coming, but we knew it would be a win and we knew it would be fun, because that’s what Payton’s Saints give us in primetime at home.

Recognizing the inevitability of a blowout win given the time and place certainly doesn’t devalue said win, and this isn’t intended to be a wet blanket – that’s coming later in the post – because a continuation of pre-2011 Payton tendencies is something to be appreciated and celebrated. And goddamn was that fun to watch.

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Punish Them Now

7 Nov

This post went up yesterday at SaintsWin (thanks, Reid!) because my site was down due to some malware or some shit like that. Sorry. I hope nobody tried to download whatever that was. You’re safe as long as you didn’t. For future reference: you should never have to download anything to read text on a website, so just don’t do that. #themoreyouknow

I didn’t get a chance to write last week, because of the road trip to New York, and I haven’t yet written this week, but suffice to say, Bills game good, Jets game bad. Offensive line, ugly. That’ll have to do for now, because I really need to get this off my chest.

Richie Incognito is an asshole.

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Step Back In The Window, Sir

22 Oct

Ok, I think I’m over it now.

I don’t know what finally did it – maybe it was the Patriots-Jets game Sunday, or the exercise in futility of forcing myself to watch every play of that abysmal game last night in hopes that I could manage a second fantasy win this season (I couldn’t) and that newfound appreciation for what we have that always comes after watching two terrible teams fight it out for what feels like seven hours. But I can look forward to the Bills game this morning without making myself miserable over what happened in New England.

But, true to the purpose of a personal blog in the first place, I’ll commit to a little self-indulgence and talk about the thing that happened over a week ago, if you care to read any of it.

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10 Oct

The Saints defense braves daylight and plant life to pursue a rare outdoor win.

Get it? That’s how you spell “Falcon” in German maybe.

Last weekend just might have been the most enjoyable weekend of regular season football I’ve ever witnessed. I want to make sure I hit all the high points, so I’ll go with a numbered list. People love those.

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Back Up Back Up, Cause It’s On

2 Oct
More of this, please.

More of this, please.

The Saints defense has allowed less than 20 points in each of its first four games.

Yes, that point is already beaten to death; indeed, its postmortem beatings will increase in ferocity with each week that this surprising trend continues. I join in on the giddy drubbing of this astonishing defensive accomplishment for one reason: it provides a smooth segue to the bit of hyperbole I have planned for later.

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Mount Up!

27 Sep

You don’t wanna step to this

I’m not really a big nickname guy. You know, your favorite message board sports thread after thread during training camp in the preseason, attempting to force some cheesy nickname on a team or squad or player. They’re almost always terrible ideas. Lame, forced, based on some obscure pop culture reference or pun. “Hey! Let’s call the defensive line Gus Fring because it’s EXPLOSIVE!”

And 145 out of 147 people think this is helpful, because 145 out of 147 people like Breaking Bad and the Saints, and this thread has both of them! Genius!

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Dreams Do Come True

25 Sep

Look on my works, ye mighty, and despair!

Well, that was fun. Yeah, the offense still has some issues, the line looks like utter garbage, and Brees spent more than a few plays running for his life. Apparently, when you replace a really great guard with some dude you never heard of, Darnell Docket will take advantage. Who knew? Lessons learned, right?

However, if you spend too much of your time complaining about any facet of offensive performance, we here at The Angry Who Dat Dot Com will remind you of our standing policy, Look At The Scoreboard Stupid. 31 points. Thirty-one. No matter what the game feels like, 31 points will win virtually every game when they’re paired with a top-4 defense. But we’ll get to that in a moment.

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