Tag Archives: Jeff Duncan

Duncan Blows Darlington: the Rage of Fake Jeff

16 Nov

Most of you (excepting only those too old or boring to use twitter) know @FakeJeffDuncan.  He should need no introduction.  If you don’t know the guy, his twitter handle should explain everything.  Fake Jeff Duncan, to be clear, is not a fan of Real Jeff Duncan.  140 characters wasn’t enough to contain his disgust at Duncan’s latest masterpiece, so he has taken to the blogosphere.

Take it away, Fake Jeff.

New Orleans Saints shouldn’t get in a bidding war for Sean Payton

So we’ve learned from NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell that the New Orleans Saints and Sean Payton are negotiating a new long-term contract extension. So let me get this straight. A full 10 months after the league reportedly rejected Payton’s original deal the exiled head coach and club are finally trying to iron out a new deal.

At this point, Scooter, if Herr Goodell told me the sky was blue I would immediately assume the sky was, indeed, any color but blue. Naturally, you go ahead and simply copy and paste whatever comes out of his office.

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“Commissioner Goodell Has Made a Dreadful Mistake”

16 Jun

Those aren’t my words, they’re the words of Jonathan Vilma’s attorney, Peter Ginsberg.  Basically sums this whole thing up, though, doesn’t it?  Here’s a few other things he had to say, all according to Jim Varney at the Times Picayune:

Dude...like, why would the NFL lie, man?

“Unfortunately, what it says to me is Commissioner Goodell has made a dreadful mistake. After what Jonathan and the other players have been put through, to suggest the players are being presented with any kind of fair hearing based on what has been presented today is pure fantasy. [...] The thin production today doesn’t link any of the players to a bounty system, and that’s consistent with what we know to be true – there was no bounty system.”

On no witnesses being produced by the league: “That’s because there are no credible witnesses who could substantiate the commissioner’s allegations.”

On the $10,000 Favre bounty accusation against Vilma: “There could be nothing credible about that because it never happened.”

“Jonathan wants to participate in a fair forum. What unfolds Monday is what unfolds Monday.”

What unfolds Monday is what unfolds Monday.

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An Open Letter to Local Sports Media

3 May

Not that any of them give a shit what I think, but it was a little too long to get out on twitter.  So, a blog post and a few emails, it is.  If any of them choose to respond, I’ll post the reply here.  Yeah, right. 

Please feel free to send this to anybody in the local media who you believe it applies to. My only condition: I want to see their self-righteous, asinine little replies.

If you don’t understand what this is about, you really need to get twitter.  Like, seriously.

To Mr. Varney, Mr. Spain, Mr. Duncan, and whomever it may concern:

I do not presume to speak for all Saints fans.  I know, however, that I speak for many who will agree wholeheartedly with what I have to say.

We do not expect local media, to include sports talk radio, print newspapers, beats on twitter, or professional online bloggers, to be fanboys, to commit to absolute homerism in all respects.  That, my friend, is what people like me are here for.  That’s why I’m an anonymous lowlife with a largely-ignored blog, and you are writing for the most popular paper in the New Orleans area.

What we do expect is a thorough examination of the situation.  It is not enough to repeat the official statements of the NFL or the NFLPA, or for that matter, the players themselves.  See, I can do that.  So can any number of people in the New Orleans area with even an inkling of literacy and reading comprehension.

The Rest >>

Drew Brees, or… A Crummy Commercial?!

11 Apr

Oh, the irony.

Yesterday we, the Who Dat Nation, held our collective breath. For about 4 hours. Drew Brees was up next on ESPN! To talk about contract stuff!!!! OmG!! We’ll never get those 4 hours back, because it was all for squat. He was having a press conference to promote his celebrity golf tournament next month. After hours of delays, we got the clip. “Yes, we’re working diligently on a long-term contract that we hope can get done sooner than later, and in the meantime, I just got a few grand for tricking you all into watching ESPN for the entire afternoon.”

Disclaimer: That might not have been an exact quote.

Now look, I don’t have anything against Drew Brees. He’s my hero too. This contract stuff is just business, it’s a little unprecedented, and it takes time. I get that, and I’m not angry (not about that, anyway).

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